Gaming addiction in teenagers: what to do. Computer addiction in adolescents: causes, types, treatment of gaming and Internet addiction. What are the risks of gaming addiction in a child?

Computer gaming addiction in children and adolescents.

According to research results, about 90% of high school students and about 40% of university students play computer games. (Ursu, A.V., Khudyakov, A.V. Computer gaming addiction: clinic, dynamics and epidemiology // Magazine “Mental Health”. – No. 8 (39). – 2009)

Is it good or bad when children and teenagers play computer games? Overall, there's nothing particularly good about this. Computer games do not bring benefits, unlike educational and educational Internet resources. But if a child plays computer games moderately, then there is nothing to worry about.

But addiction to computer games is already a disease. It can be difficult to cope with it without the help of a specialist.

The main signs of computer gaming addiction:

• Inability to control the time spent playing a computer game.
• Obsessive desire to play.
• Constant thoughts about the game.
• Elevation of mood when deciding to play.
• Irritability and decreased mood when gaming activities are limited.
  

Computer gaming addiction does not develop suddenly in children. Unfortunately, adults often do not pay attention to the signs of its appearance. Moreover, there are cases when parents themselves contribute to its formation by teaching their child to play computer games from an early age. They push him to become a gamer.

Who is a child gamer?

Excerpt from the book by V.V. Kozlov, N.N. Fetiskin “Difficult Children”, M. 2017

Kids cyber gamers

“Currently, gamers are people who play video games or spend a lot of time playing them.
Gamers are among the people addicted to computer games.
A child gamer sits for hours at the computer, not feeling time and unable to tear himself away from the monitor, shooting, controlling or creating his own virtual Universe.

Computer games for gamers are an opportunity to design their own world, the one they want in this moment and consonant with thoughts or mood. Gamer in his virtual reality- both a hero and a creator, he simply has no equal. Therefore, it is difficult for a gamer to break away from this busy life, where today he is a rider on a zealous horse, and not a “headless horseman.” He has no need to expose his head to a hail of moralizing or criticism from dissatisfied parents and teachers, when he can become a prince, then a king, despite the fact that now he is a loser at home. And in what world all this will happen, it doesn’t matter if it “exists”, even if only for you.

In virtual reality, for a gamer, all tasks can be solved overnight without help; if there is a mistake, you can correct it without any serious consequences, humiliation or angry comments. You are your own master here, as well as your own servant. You give the orders yourself, and you carry them out yourself, and you are responsible for yourself. If you want, you do it, if you don’t want, you don’t.

Of course, every gamer has his own set of the most important computer games. And they, as you know, can be not only cruel, but also completely harmless at first glance; but very useful, for example educational or developmental. For example, boy gamers are most attracted to strategy games, in which you can turn into a great commander, no worse than Napoleon, and feel the triumph of the winner. And girls prefer quest games, the so-called logic games. But the most attractive for most children and teenagers are RPC games, thanks to which it is possible to fulfill all imaginable and inconceivable desires. However, according to A. Barkan, the worst thing, of course, is when your child becomes fixated on violent games, making attempts on people’s lives. And let this all happen for now only in virtual reality. But if suddenly gamers then try to copy this game for life, and without sound reasoning, out of inertia, then they can overdo it in actualizing the accumulated virtual cruelty and manifested according to gaming computer templates. From this it is easy to conclude that cruel games- this is a kind of provoking factor of the child’s “dormant” aggressiveness. This can be confirmed by data on the direct connection between virtual and real violence, as well as on the stimulation of computer games with elements of violence on the aggressiveness of human behavior in conflict situations. And a child gamer, overwhelmed by daily game aggression, can take anything for a conflict situation, using the only way out familiar to him to resolve it - physical strength with all the ensuing consequences. Cyber ​​games program thinking and behavior for physical aggression, for destroying the enemy, like a superhero, encouraging the young gamer with various psychological bonuses.

Noting the harmful effects of cyber games on the personal characteristics of a gamer, it should be noted that a gamer’s cyber gaming addiction is not equivalent to drug addiction, because in the first case, other parts of the brain are involved.

At the same time, prolonged “hovering” of a gamer over the monitor screen contributes to overexcitation nervous system, they sleep poorly, finishing the “unfinished game”, because they no longer have enough days for their hobby, the activity of the intellect is inhibited. Some authors, such as Tohoku, explain the aggressiveness of gamers by the underdevelopment of the frontal lobes of the brain, which are responsible for programming behavior and controlling emotions.

Despite the arguments of supporters of cyber games and their manufacturers about the harmlessness of virtual fairy-tale cruelty, aggressiveness, and violence, they, at the same time, do not deny that “only 10-15% of gamers commit cruel antisocial acts, and for the majority of children this just an ordinary pastime without any burdensome consequences arising from it” (A. Barkan, 2010. – p. 125).
In conclusion, we note that boys spend twice as much time on cyber games, unlike girls.

Moreover, boys are most attracted to games of chance associated with wrestling or competitions, and least of all to logic games, and among girls, logic games are more popular and less so to “fighting” games. So computer addiction develops more often in boys. It is important for parents to remember that when encouraging their children’s cyber games and especially violent computer games, the price or retribution for these games may be not only the health of the child gamer (somatic disorders in the form of spinal curvature, posture, obesity from mechanically eating chips and pizza during games , increased general fatigue, decreased visual acuity, etc.), but also a narrowing of cognitive interests and the child becoming “stuck” in games with violence and attempts on people’s lives.

This latent mixture of virtual plans with living reality can be updated according to the assumption of A.G. Asmolov in the form of “Veld syndrome”, associated on the basis of one of the stories of the American science fiction writer Ray Bradbury. The brief essence of this syndrome is as follows. R. Bradbury's characters lived in a computerized house with a playroom for children, where virtual reality dominated. Thanks to this reality, the effect of the presence of a child in a pride of African lions that went hunting was created. The children were constantly playing “Veld”, and for some reason the parents suddenly began to be bothered by the alarming cries and voices they heard all the time from the nursery, somehow familiar to them. And when, finally, the nerves of the adults could not stand it and they forbade the children to play in the “Veld”, then their relatives and beloved children lured them right there to their playroom... Into the playroom, where suddenly the virtual lions turned into real ones and, leaving the screens, rushed at their parents. Only now did it become clear to the parents whose screams worried them so much. But it was already too late. These were their cries today.
In this regard, it is quite fair to warn that parents should not allow their child to “elevate” to this “honorable” rank of gamers.”

Are all children and adolescents equally prone to computer gaming addiction?

As with any addiction, there are people predisposed to it, and there are those who are quite stable. Just like alcoholism. We emphasize that we are talking specifically about the emergence of addiction to computer games, like an alcoholic from alcohol or a drug addict from drugs.

Approximately 10% of people are prone to computer addiction.

The most risky age group- 12-15 years. At this age, addiction to computer games most often begins to form.

There is no need to prove the harm of children and adolescents’ dependence on computer games. Everything is obvious here. The main thing is the separation from reality, immersion in the virtual world, which replaces the real one, the loss or obstacle to the formation of skills for real interaction with others.

Computer gaming addiction in children and adolescents never occurs without reason.

Moreover, sometimes parents directly push them in this direction, starting from an early age. For example, in order to avoid having to deal with it, a small child is given a tablet with games in his hands, thereby replacing direct communication or play with him.

Numerous studies show that the formation of addictive behavior, incl. and computer gaming addiction is facilitated by a lack of communication, emotional intimacy, mutual understanding and frequent conflicts in the family.

It often happens that the abuse of computer games among teenagers leads to an even greater increase in their conflicts with their parents. It turns out to be a vicious circle.

How can you help your child get rid of computer addiction?

If its degree is high, then it is better to seek help from a specialist. But in any case, the main thing that parents and other adults surrounding the child can do is to establish contact with him through communication.

No lectures, notations or forceful methods, for example, deprivation of a computer, will help. It can only get worse.

The first thing you need to start with is to understand the reasons that push a child to live in virtual reality. It is impossible to do this without a trusting relationship.
By the way, nothing bad will happen if adults show interest in the computer game in which their child “hangs out.” They will try to understand what attracts him to her, and through discussion of the game they will try to establish contact.

Having understood the reasons, we can offer a child or teenager ways to replace computer games with something real life. These could be clubs or courses, a sports section, some joint events, after all, just communication on interesting topics. But the main thing is to create a psychologically safe atmosphere of communication in the family.

And remember that any addiction is a disease that does not go away quickly; its treatment requires time, effort and perseverance. And adults are most often to blame for computer gaming addiction in children. So should we blame the children in this case?

As in getting rid of any addiction, a period of painful “withdrawal” is inevitable, which must be endured. And here, more than ever, the child needs the support of the adults around him, especially his parents.

It is necessary to gradually limit the time a child spends playing computer games, always offering something in return. This “substitute” for a computer game should evoke positive emotions in the child.

But the best way to fight is prevention. We live in a computer world and the further we go, the more IT technologies will be used by us and influence our activities and life in general.

Parents can, from an early age, help their child perceive the computer as a source of new knowledge and a tool with which one can create interesting things. Especially if they do this in the form of joint activities with him. In this case, the problem of communicating with the child and teaching him to work with modern information technologies is solved.

Sources.
Perezhogin L.O. “Addiction to the Internet and computer games in child psychiatric practice”
Kozlov V.V., Fetiskin N.N. “Difficult Children”, M.2017

Titova V.V. " Computer addiction: mechanisms of formation, diagnosis, approaches to treatment and prevention.” Journal “Theory and Practice of Psychotherapy” 2015, No. 1

Ursu, A.V., Khudyakov, A.V. Computer gaming addiction: clinical picture, dynamics and epidemiology // Zh. "Mental Health". – No. 8 (39). – 2009.- P.28-32

Psychiatric features of individuals with problematic internet use / N.A. Shapira, T.D. Goldsmith, P.E. Keck, Jr. // Journal of Affective Disorders. – 2000. – Vol. 57, no. 1–3. – P. 267–272.

The Comorbid Psychiatric Symptoms of Internet Addiction: Attention Deficit and Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), Depression, Social Phobia, and Hostility / J.Y. Yen, C.H. Ko, C.F. Yen // Journal of Adolescent Health. – 2007. – Vol. 41, No. 1, July. – P. 93–98

This is a type of addiction that is defined by its symptoms and causes. Treatment is aimed at solving the question of how to get rid of gambling addiction forever.

In the era of advanced progress, it is very easy to become a gambling addict. Everything happens quickly here. If you win, you quickly become a champion, a winner. If you lose, you can start the game again at any time.

The psychological help website psymedcare.ru defines the principle of development of gambling addiction as a person’s desire to quickly and easily achieve the desired results. In life it is very difficult to become successful, rich, strong, etc. That is why gambling becomes so interesting. Here you either win, which is how you achieve success, or you lose. However, even a loss can be quickly compensated for by the next resumption of the game.

What is gambling addiction?

Gambling addiction is one of the most common addictions today. With the advent of computers and the Internet in every home, this has become more possible. What is gambling addiction? It's gameplay dependent. Games are different. The most common are:

• Computer games via the Internet.
• Gambling games (roulette, cards, etc.).
• Lottery and sport games to win.

People of all ages are susceptible to gambling addiction. Even among mature and old people you can find gambling addicts who, with their hobbies, try to win something or defeat someone.

The difference between gambling addiction and drug or alcohol addiction is that the body is not harmed. Only emotions are affected here, so gambling addiction is attributed to mental disorders. The physical body can only become depleted or replenished with fat, lose tone, if a person constantly spends time on his addiction. This is why somatic signs do not appear. Only the perception of the surrounding world, interests and direction of activity are distorted.

The game distracts a person so much that he begins to lose family, social, work, material and other values. A person is no longer interested in anything except the game, to which he is ready to devote all his time. Sleep can often suffer here because the person suffers from insomnia.

However, not everything is so simple. Not every person who plays games can be called a gambler. Perhaps all people are addicted to games to one degree or another. Therefore, there are 4 types of persons:

1. Situational gamers are people who start playing only under the influence of external factors (stress, free time or competition). If these factors are not present, then the games will not be interesting.
2. Occasional gamers are people who play only when they have nothing else to do. They may or may not play. They control themselves well, so they can easily refuse to play.
3. Systematic gamers are people who can be addicted to their games, but they are distracted from this hobby by their conscience, which begins to overwhelm them when a person does not perform other work because of his hobby.
4. Gamers (gamblers) are people who want to spend all their time playing games. If at some point they are not playing, then mentally they are in the game process. They think about the course of the game, how to defeat their opponent, etc. Even if they lose, this does not upset them, but on the contrary, it encourages them to return to the game and try again.

Causes of gambling addiction

Gambling addiction is a natural phenomenon as a result of social upbringing, economic situation and mental disorders. The reason for social education is that children are taught to play games from childhood. The games that parents offer are safe and educational. This is why other games that can be found on the Internet seem just as harmless.

From childhood, a person is accustomed to the idea that playing is a pleasant pastime. That is why, having nothing better to do, people resort to it even in adulthood. Moreover, it is even profitable for modern parents to buy computers and tablets for their kids so that they can play their own games and not interfere with adults. Over time, the child gets used to playing various games, considering this to be normal.

As for gambling, where people play for money, everything is simple: people are promised big winnings and the opportunity not to work. Such games are more exciting than going to work. Adults play them with pleasure, especially if they are promised money.

Psychological factors include:

1. Feeling lonely. If a person is deprived of normal communication in life, then he will become more addicted to computer games. The fantasy world allows you to communicate with other players and feel like one of them.
2. Dissatisfaction with one's own life. Lack of success and achievement leads a person to disappointment. In the game, this complex can be eliminated by choosing the desired level, hero, even the plot of the game. Here you can quickly achieve success, which is facilitated by the rules of the game. This allows the gambling addict to become addicted to it.
3. Mental disorders. People with various disorders may be prone to addiction.
4. Tendency to dependency. Some refer to a person's genetic predisposition to be addicted. However, there is no evidence of this. We can only say that if a person is dependent on something, then he can become dependent on everything else.
5. The desire to hit the jackpot. This good way lure people who want to get rich quickly and without difficulty. But the problem is that all games are designed so that only a few win and the majority lose. This allows the majority to play again, wanting to be the ones who win.
6. Sexual dissatisfaction. If a person is not satisfied or has a complete lack of intimate life, then he can compensate by producing the hormone of “happiness” by becoming addicted to games.

If a person simply does not mature mentally and emotionally, then he continues to play games like a child. He is simply not ready for real life, problems and other factors of the adult world, so he runs away into gambling addiction.

Gambling disease

Gambling addiction as a disease is defined by dependence on various types of games. Usually a person resorts to only one type of game, in which he compensates for what he lacks in real life. At the same time, areas of life that remain unattended by a person in reality are disrupted.

Gambling addiction is characterized by the rapidity of its development. Most often, people who are destined for success become gambling addicts. This is why its absence in real life leads to addiction to games. People also become prone to games because they relax, have fun, or escape from real problems.

Gambling addiction can be identified by the following signs:

• Constant thoughts about the game, thinking through moves and process.
• Increase in bets, increase in level, emotional charge of energy during the game.
• Escape from problems, fears, troubles through games.
• The appearance of anger, irritation, anxiety, if for some reason a person does not have the opportunity to play.
• The desire to win or win back.
• Downplaying the importance of the game for oneself.
• Concealing from others the real reason for the need to play.
• Stealing, borrowing money, or embezzlement to improve your computer or level up in a game.
• Lack of fear of losing family ties, career growth and other achievements in real life.

A gambling addict goes through 3 stages of developing his addiction:

1. The playing time and the amount of money spent gradually increases. However, at this first stage the person is not yet struggling with whether to play or not. He can easily abandon the game at any time.
2. At the second stage, it becomes more and more difficult to give up the game. A person may even quit work or give himself more time to play. This is where the stakes start to rise. All money won goes back into the game.
3. At the third stage, a person can no longer refuse to play. He loses more and more money or spends time gambling. He loses social connections, work, family, which he does not notice or easily endures. The interval between games is reduced to a minimum.

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Symptoms of gambling addiction

If adults are more often into gambling, then teenagers are more into computer games. However, the symptoms of gambling addiction are almost the same for everyone:

• Loss of interest in real areas of life.
• Increased time spent playing computer games.
• Denial of addiction and refusal to help.
• “Tunnel” worldview, when a person thinks only about the game.
• Aggressiveness, irritability, hostility, if there is no opportunity to play. The onset of apathy in case of prolonged abstinence from gaming.
• Lack of full satisfaction of at least physiological needs.
• Problems with the spine, blurred vision, muscle weakness, digestion and sleep disorders.
• Merging of real and virtual. More and more people are isolated from the real due to the lack of success, wealth and other achievements in it.

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Treatment - how to get rid of gambling addiction?

Naturally, an addicted person will not be able to get rid of gambling addiction on his own. That is why it is necessary to help him with treatment, which largely depends on the behavior of his parents or loved ones.

If a teenager is a gambling addict, then it is necessary to have a sincere conversation with him. Gambling addiction often develops against the background of parents’ indifference to their own children, lack of love and attention, misunderstanding and constant criticism on their part. The teenager is missing something. Parents should find out about this and eliminate it.

If you cannot help yourself, then you need to contact a psychologist. A visit to a specialist should take place together with the gambling addict.

It is necessary to find out what is missing or does not suit a person in real life, which is why he runs away into the virtual world. You can work with a psychologist or have a heart-to-heart conversation with a gambling addict, considering options on how to realize your desires in real life.

Everything will happen monotonously and for a long time, but it will be much more realistic. If it is difficult for a person to endure problems and troubles, then he should be given emotional and moral support. This can be done through the same confidential and sincere conversations as when finding out the reasons.

As a last resort, the psychologist will offer psychotherapeutic methods that will help in getting rid of gambling addiction. By and large, a person simply needs support and understanding, the absence of criticism and negative assessments addressed to him. This will allow a positive outcome to be reached, when a person calmly copes with life’s problems, from which he previously escaped into his gambling or computer games.

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Is gambling addiction a disease? Causes, stages, symptoms and consequences of gambling addiction

Is gambling addiction a disease?

Gambling addiction is a mental illness that is officially recognized by doctors and scientists all over the world, and is included in the International Classification of Diseases, 10th revision (ICD-10) under the code F63.0 and in the classification of mental disorders of the American Psychiatric Association under the code DSM-IV-R.

What is gambling addiction?

Gambling addiction is a mental disorder, the essence of which is the presence of a pathological addiction to any form of gambling. At its core, gambling addiction is an addiction similar to drug or alcohol addiction, in which a person cannot control and suppress his desire to take drugs or drink an alcoholic beverage. Only with gambling addiction is a person unable to suppress and control the desire to play.

Gambling addiction (ludomania, gambling): gambling, computer addiction, sports betting – video

Harmful effects of gambling addiction

The most noticeable and frequent negative consequence of gambling addiction is pathological changes in the psyche. Most often, a gambler develops pathological mental traits such as deceit, irresponsibility, high levels of conflict, indiscipline, indifference to work and loved ones, low performance and a tendency to commit criminal acts (theft, fraud, etc.). Such pathological personality traits prevent a person from functioning normally in society, at work and in the family, resulting in the complete collapse of all social and family ties.

Causes of gambling addiction (mechanism of involvement)

The reasons for the development of gambling addiction in a person are complex and are represented by a combination of personal characteristics and environmental factors. In science, the causes of various addictions, including gambling addiction, are usually called the mechanisms of a person’s involvement in addiction, since the process of addiction formation is complex and is ensured by the interaction of personal mental characteristics with the influence of the environment.

Causes of gambling addiction. Genetic and psychological predisposition to gambling addiction (opinion of a psychotherapist) – video

Stages of development of gambling addiction

Gambling addiction (gaming addiction) in a person does not develop immediately, but gradually, and in several stages, at each of which certain mental changes appear and pathological habits are acquired.

• Preparatory stage. During this period, a person becomes susceptible to the urge to gamble. That is, the attraction itself does not yet arise, but susceptibility to such attraction appears, which is formed due to the following psychological personality traits - low self-esteem, intolerance to refusals, intolerance to criticism or disapproval of actions, impulsiveness, increased anxiety, deep depression, intolerance to disappointment with the need for its immediate elimination through satisfaction, a sense of one’s own power, a tendency to irrational, mystical thinking, a high degree of activity, a desire to actively act, an excited state of mind, a tendency to take risks. The appearance of the above personality traits leads to the fact that a person becomes highly susceptible to the attraction to gambling. If against such a psychological background a person begins to gamble, then the risk of becoming a gambling addict is very high. Personality traits that make people susceptible to gambling tend to develop when they are in an environment where material values ​​are exalted and normal human consideration for each other is lacking.

Winning stage. At this stage, a person begins to play and, thanks to his susceptibility to the attraction to gambling, becomes involved in the game, literally “getting attached” to it with his soul. A person develops faith in his own success, based on frequent wins, both small and large. In addition, winnings, which so far exceed losses, create a sense of personal power, the illusion of control over oneself and the world, and also contribute to the development of an excessive sense of self-importance. At this stage, a person is literally absorbed in the game, he does not see the disadvantages and dangers that constant participation in games brings with him, and only revels in the false feelings of his own importance, power and success given by winnings.

Losing stage. At this stage, a person completely immerses himself in the game, which becomes the center of his life interests; everything else (family, work, etc.) seems not so important. A pathological vicious circle appears: start a game - lose - get into debt - hide for a while - rush to start playing, hoping to win back, etc. The vicious circle is constantly repeated, and as the disease progresses, the game-lose cycles are repeated more and more often. That is, if at the beginning of this stage a person plays, for example, once a month, then after a while he begins to play once every three weeks, then once every two weeks, then once a week, etc. The gambling addict begins to constantly lie to others, trying to hide his true situation, and completely stops fulfilling family, work and social responsibilities. There is an increasing change in personality, in the structure of which irritability, increased fatigue, secrecy, unsociability, and even malice appear. At the stage of losses, a person realizes his illness, and painfully tries by force of will to control the attraction to the game, trying to stop playing, but this does not work.

Stage of disappointment and despair. At this stage, a person’s life completely collapses due to his constant gambling, debts, unstable emotional state, and lies. A gambling addict divorces his wife or breaks ties with loved ones (brothers, sisters, parents), friends, without contacting them, he completely withdraws into himself. Often a person at the stage of disappointment and despair begins to drink alcohol, he develops a feeling of hopelessness and frequent emotional breakdowns. Debts often lead to arrests. All the gambler’s personal time is focused on the game, in which the person tries to constantly and inadequately increase the bets, often going all-in with the hope of completely winning back and thereby completely getting rid of his problems.

Stage of hopelessness. At this stage, a person loses even hope of winning, but still continues to play completely without any goal, simply for the sake of participating in the game process itself.

On average, all of the listed stages of a gambling addiction go through in 1.5 – 3 years, but sometimes their course can drag on for up to 10 years. This means that an average of 1.5 – 3 years is enough to turn a mentally healthy person into a sick gambling addict.

• Preclinical stage. At this stage, clear symptoms of mental pathology are not revealed, and all violations are of an erased nature, as a result of which they can be mistaken for personality traits. At this stage, a person can independently get rid of gambling addiction by controlling his actions with logical reasoning and willpower.
• Stage of clinical changes. At this stage, a clear mental dependence on the game appears and mental deviations in behavior are formed. A person develops obsessive thoughts and impulsive search behavior.
• Stage of clinical dependence. At this stage, the gambler develops mental disorders, self-control is lost, self-criticism decreases, and disturbances in the emotional and sensory sphere are formed, such as flattened affect, as in schizophrenia. Flattened affect is understood as a significant impoverishment of the emotional and sensory sphere, when a person does not experience deep emotions, becomes callous, cruel and indifferent to the feelings of others.
• Stage of structural changes in personality. At this stage, against the background of a general flattened affect, explosive and vivid sensations appear that relate only to the game. In other words, a person does not experience strong emotions from anything other than the game. Various obsessive thoughts become automatisms, tolerance to the outside world decreases, will is lost, and thinking loses logic and acquires pronounced magic. That is, a person does not think logically, does not analyze what is happening, but reads and looks for certain “signs,” symbols, signs, on the basis of which he draws “conclusions” about whether the game will be successful, whether he should go play, etc. The range of human interests becomes extremely narrow, and among them the game prevails, which has become the center and meaning of life.

Gambling addiction: stages and signs. Gambling addiction problems, codependency – video

Symptoms of gambling addiction

Symptoms of gambling addiction are grouped into various mental syndromes that describe the characteristic behavior and personality changes of a gambling addict.

• A syndrome of pathological attraction to gambling, manifested by behavioral disturbances, flattening of emotions (a person becomes indifferent to everything except the game) and vegetative symptoms (pressure surges, flushing of the face, headaches, sweating, etc.). A gambler has an uncompromising desire to play no matter what, regardless of family or work responsibilities, financial problems, or existing illnesses. Among the mental disorders in the syndrome of pathological attraction to gambling, ideational disorders predominate, manifested by obsessive fantasies about the game, about the “obligatory” win, about the various stages of the game, combinations of numbers, cards, etc. Against the background of such ideation disorders, the gambler develops confidence in winning, anticipation of the pleasure of the upcoming game, and the illusion of complete control over the game. The fantasy of winning leads to the fact that gamblers also have thoughts that after winning they will definitely be respected and loved by others and relatives, that they will finally understand everything and appreciate the desire to “hit the jackpot.” Sometimes gambling addicts also experience hallucinations in the form of the sounds of roulette, the noise of slot machines and other sounds associated with games.

Gaming trance syndrome, manifested in absorption in the game, excitement, and the inability to stop the game, despite a good win or a big loss. The gaming trance lasts from 4 to 14 hours (on average), and until it ends, the person will play no matter what. In a state of gaming trance, the player’s original goal – to win – is replaced by simply participating in the game. During the game, severe overexertion occurs, which leads to increased blood pressure, heart pain, rapid heartbeat, as well as deterioration of attention, memory and performance. Against the background of deteriorating memory and attention, as well as strong passion, the player completely forgets his behavioral guidelines, loses rational thinking, the ability to control the game and use his gaming skills. In this state of trance, a person plays until he “returns” to reality, and neither close people nor law enforcement agencies can drag him away from the game.

The winning syndrome is manifested by euphoria, excellent mood, a surge of energy, a feeling of superiority over others, joy from achieving a goal, etc. This state is very pleasant, so many gamers believe that “this is worth living for.” Winning the game allows a person to feel confident and dream of wealth. various things that he would like to try in life. The winning syndrome can last for a gambling addict from several hours to several days, after which this condition passes.

Losing syndrome develops during the game or immediately after its completion. In rare cases, the formation of loss syndrome occurs 1–2 days after the end of the game. This syndrome during the game is manifested by increasing anxiety, irritability, anger, regret for starting to play, aggressiveness and the desire to find and punish those responsible for his troubles. Against the backdrop of the sensations they experience, gamblers want to stop playing, but, as a rule, they fail to do this, since the excitement and hope of winning are much stronger. In a state of loss syndrome, players ask for help from the devil or God. Some ask to help them and take pity on them, while others, on the contrary, curse everything. Quite often, calls to certain higher powers are made in public, that is, gamblers cross themselves, read prayers, spells, and perform some kind of ritual actions. Losing syndrome after finishing a game lasts from 12 hours to 2 days, and is manifested by depression, short temper, irritability, rudeness, aggressiveness, suicidal thoughts and destructive actions. In addition, during the losing syndrome, a person’s sleep is disturbed, he has unpleasant and disturbing dreams, his appetite disappears, his head and heart hurt. Against the backdrop of such an unpleasant state, the gambler begins to condemn himself and promises himself not to play anymore. However, after some time, the losing syndrome passes, and the gambler again develops an attraction to the game.

Withdrawal syndrome develops when abstaining from gaming, occurs with sleep disturbance, disturbance of emotions and behavior, and with vegetative symptoms. In a gambling addict, behavior disorder is characterized by a feeling of emptiness, regret about lost money and wasted time, self-flagellation, suicidal thoughts and aggressiveness appear. Violation of the emotional sphere is manifested by anxiety, bad mood, depression, excessive irritability and incontinence in expressing emotions. Sleep disorders occur in the form of insomnia, unpleasant dreams or even nightmares. Autonomic disorders in gambling addicts most often manifest themselves as sweating, facial flushing, rapid heartbeat, surges in blood pressure, heart pain, angina attacks, as well as frequent headaches and loss of appetite. Against the backdrop of all the manifestations of withdrawal syndrome, the gambler loses interest in work and family, alienation from loved ones occurs, but an obsessive desire to “prove” and “get even” appears.

Game degradation syndrome, manifested by a decrease in the strength and quality of emotional experiences delivered by ordinary events in life, as well as deterioration of memory, attention, disruption of normal logical thinking and its transition to mystical perception with loss of social and family status. Gambling personality disorder syndrome develops within 6–12 months after the formation of gambling addiction. A person becomes deceitful, irresponsible, conflictual, hot-tempered, touchy, undisciplined, callous, insensitive, selfish and prone to crime. In addition, a gambling addict develops indifference to work, combined with extremely low performance due to deterioration of memory and attention. Personality degradation also affects the appearance of a gambling addict, since his requirements for his own appearance are significantly reduced, as a result of which he is unkempt and sloppy. A gambler is consumed by his own constant anxiety, depression and bad mood, his circle of interests narrows, ties with friends and loved ones are severed, the person makes unreasonable claims to others, does not want to fulfill his responsibilities, for example, buying food, things for the family, etc.

The syndromes of pathological gambling and withdrawal have many overlaps, since they include the same symptoms. This is due to the fact that the same symptoms, but in combination with others, form different syndromes related to various human mental health disorders.

• Money solves all problems, including difficulties in communicating with people;
• Uncertainty in the present will pass after success comes due to winning;
• Inhibition of control over fantasies about a future big win;
• Belief in a winning (fortunate, successful) day;
• The belief that there will definitely come a turning point in the game, when fortune turns around and “luck” goes;
• Confidence that debts can be repaid only by recouping;
• Confidence that next time you will be able to control yourself and play not with all the money you have, but only with part of it;
• Representation of a bet as a certain transaction;
• Misidentifying money as chips or numbers on the display during the game.

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Computer addiction in teenagers: you will learn how to treat it

Greetings, dear guests and readers of my blog! Today I want to discuss with you a very topical topic: Computer addiction in teenagers. How to treat it.

In the age of high technology, it is difficult to find a person who is not familiar with the computer and the World Wide Web. Despite the wide distribution of these benefits of civilization, they are a dangerous tool in the hands of teenagers - bearers of a still fragile psyche. What to do if a young man or girl has developed an Internet addiction?

A teenager who is “hooked” on a computer often does not cause any concern among loved ones.

Some mothers, fathers and grandmothers even think: “Let better at home sits at the computer rather than wandering around the gateways.”

However, gaming or Internet addiction is an addiction similar to a drug addiction. It also entails many consequences and does not have the best effect on the development of the psyche and personal qualities of a growing person.

What to do in this case? How to treat computer gaming addiction? Treatment of any disease should begin with collecting anamnesis - medical history and possible causes.

Computer addiction in adolescents: causes

Having a computer and access to the Internet does not mean that addiction will develop in the near future. So why do some children become attached to a “toy”, while others are able to control the time they spend online?

In reality, there is only one big reason why teenagers spend more time on the computer.

This happens when the virtual world becomes more interesting than the surrounding reality or acts as a way to avoid frightening or unsatisfactory circumstances.

What could this mean?

1. Lack of communication with surrounding peers. Ignoring from classmates, non-acceptance, lack of friends and the opportunity to make them.
2. Lack of communication with significant adults. Always busy parents and other relatives, unwillingness to make contact and listen to the child.
3. The desire to be like everyone else. If a school group or a group of street friends devotes a lot of time to games and “hanging out” on the Internet, the child copies the behavior.
4. Conflicts with peers. Unsatisfactory relationships or open mockery encourage the child to go into the virtual world.
5. Tense psychological atmosphere at home. This also contributes to immersion in the Internet and games, since the teenager does not feel the strength to change circumstances and influence elders and chooses an easier way to overcome tension.
6. Poor relationships with teachers at the educational institution. This can have an impact as well as teacher qualifications. Inability to involve in the educational process, interesting to teach new information makes a teenager get bored and increasingly go online in search of interesting things.
7. Lack of feeling of success in real life. For one reason or another, the child feels unfulfilled and compensates for this with achievements in the virtual world.

Very often, Internet addiction is formed as follows.

Parents purchase a computer and connect to the Internet, usually for educational purposes: many educational institutions use new technologies in the educational process, and the child needs access to do homework.

During the first time of use, this may be the case, but later the young man begins to spend more time with the new toy. Most parents do not sound the alarm at this stage, because this situation is convenient for them: the child is at home, supervised, does not play pranks, does not get involved with bad company, and does not require close attention - you can rest and relax after a hard day.

By the time computer addiction is already firmly established, they completely lose control over the situation: punishments lead to outbursts of anger, attempts to call them to reason and go for a breath of fresh air lead to complete ignorance.

Computer games

This topic deserves separate consideration. During the game, the child experiences a lot of pleasant sensations due to the release of adrenaline and pleasure hormones. Not a single real toy can compare with “shooters”, “adventure games”, “strategies”, etc. The child “gets hooked” on these sensations, additionally driven by the competitive spirit, competition with other players, and the desire for championship. This is what makes boys more susceptible to addiction.

Social media

Girls take the lead in another type of Internet addiction - social networks. Showing yourself in all your glory with the help of endless selfies, telling others about your interesting and eventful life, tracking the number of “likes” from your main rival - the first beauty from the parallel 11th “A” - all this pushes a growing girl to waste most of her time V in social networks. The abundance of content also contributes to strengthening addiction - teenagers most often look for pictures, songs, quotes (by the way, not always presented correctly), and humor on these resources.

To be always online means to be on topic and to comply with the generally accepted trend. Social networks today are the stories of entire lives, so scrolling through the news feed in class, on the way home, in the company of friends, before going to bed means being aware of what is happening here and now. It is difficult for a teenager to refuse this.

Does this mean that there is no way out of this situation? Not at all.

In order to help a teenager, it is necessary to determine whether there is an addiction at all?

Signs of Internet addiction

There are a few red flags you should pay attention to.

A teenager is at risk or is already addicted to computers if:

1. His daily routine has changed. He began to go to bed late and was reluctant to get up, the time of eating changed - he began to refuse food in favor of staying with his toy.
2. The teenager began to spend less time with friends when he had them.
3. Fatigue, passivity, attacks of aggression and irritation appeared.
4. There is academic failure. Difficulties appear when doing homework. Disciplines that were previously easy are no longer enjoyable, and grades deteriorate.
5. Absenteeism appears. Parents who are unable to monitor their child’s attendance due to work commitments may encounter such information from teachers.
6. Ignoring household responsibilities. This applies to families where there was already a clear distribution of functions for each family member. The teenager stops performing his tasks and resists when he is reminded of the need to do something around the house.
7. Lack of hygiene. Often, spending a long time at the computer causes difficulties in following hygiene rules: the child may “forget” to brush his teeth and the first thing he does is go to the computer immediately after waking up.
8. Full concentration on the game. Attempts to engage in conversation end in failure: it seems that the child simply does not hear what is being said to him. Answers inappropriately or asks to be left alone.
9. The time spent at the computer increases. The child is not able to control himself, he is lost in time, perhaps promises to sit less tomorrow, but does not keep his promises.

The inability to sit at the computer provokes aggression, tearfulness, and rage.

Very often, in places where there is no access to a favorite gadget, a teenager behaves nervously and wants to go home as soon as possible. The first thing he does upon returning is press the “Start” button, in extreme cases without even having time to take off his outerwear. In the case of addiction to social networks, the same can be attributed to mobile phones as an affordable way to access the network.

The teenager begins to communicate a lot using computer terms.

Does this sound familiar to you? This means, most likely, the teenager really suffers from computer addiction. I will tell you in detail how to treat computer gambling addiction. Its consequences have the most detrimental effect on the fragile psyche of a young man.

Consequences of computer addiction

Attachment to the computer makes it the main way of communication with the outside world, and this applies not only to addiction to social networks. In most games, participants conduct dialogues in a chat, and this communication becomes the main thing.

This is fraught with the loss of skills of real interaction with others. A teenager simply forgets how to conduct constructive dialogues, communicate on various topics, and interact effectively in society. The absence of these skills provokes emotional and social immaturity - the child becomes unable to understand the feelings of another person and put himself in his place. It is difficult for him to build warm, trusting relationships with his family and achieve emotional intimacy.

The feeling of impunity for actions on the Internet provokes a feeling of permissiveness in real life. A child can do anything in a computer game, including committing actions that are actually prohibited by law. As addiction progresses, these areas of life become mixed, and the adolescent’s unstable psyche becomes unable to exercise control over his actions.

The end result may be depression, especially associated with the absence of an attachment figure when restrictions are imposed.

The physical health of a teenager suffers no less: problems with the musculoskeletal system appear due to constant exposure to non-physiological positions and poor posture; Dry eyes occur, vision is impaired; Disturbances in the rhythm of sleep and wakefulness develop, headaches, dizziness, and disturbances in the blood supply to the brain appear due to low physical activity and rare exposure to fresh air. Failure to comply with hygiene and neglect of nutrition entail a deficiency of vitamins and microelements and the risk of developing certain diseases.

Statistics show even more severe consequences.

A high school student who beat up his younger friends after another game of Diablo; a teenager who robbed his relatives to visit an Internet cafe; a boy who died of a heart attack after a 30-hour continuous session in the game - these are just the latest cases reported in the media, which in fact number in the hundreds, all over the world.

It makes you think, right? It is important to take control of the situation as early as possible and prevent irreversible changes.

How to treat computer addiction in teenagers

So, you understand how to determine whether teenagers have computer addiction. How to treat it? Is it possible? Need to!

First, you need to provide parents of an addicted teenager with a little guidance.

What NOT to do

• sharply limit your time at the computer, turn off the Internet, break your favorite toy - this can cause a severe breakdown;
• prohibit, scold, punish a teenager, threaten to deprive a teenager of his pocket money - this will provoke outbreaks of aggression, conflict and leaving home;
• put forward ultimatum proposals - “either we, or your computer” - the teenager will most likely make a choice in favor of the latter.

What to do

The main thing is to take a tactful part in the treatment of computer addiction, to be a friend and assistant to the teenager in overcoming the addiction.

• gently teach the teenager new ways to overcome difficulties and crisis situations;
• instill skills to control your emotional state - explain ways to regulate feelings;
• teach communication, effective communications with peers, which requires some immersion in the environment of modern youth;
• teach time management or effective time management.

Most often, it is quite difficult to do without outside help, since most young people of puberty actively resist their parents’ attempts to relieve them of the heavy burden of addiction - they simply do not see a problem in this.

According to statistics, only 1/5 of all addicted teenagers managed to get rid of computer addiction on their own with a little help from their parents.

Consulting a psychotherapist will not only help you choose a treatment strategy. This is also necessary for diagnosing possible depressive conditions, which requires a special approach to treatment.

It should be noted that there is no universal recipe for improving the mental health of a teenager. Any tactic will lead to a painful separation; Internet addiction causes “withdrawal” akin to drug addiction.

The parent’s task is to restore interest in real life and direct communication, which can be ensured by:

• visiting clubs, identifying new interests of a teenager or updating old ones;
• joint reading and conversations, discussion of news and innovations in the real world;
• honesty towards the teenager - you need to say directly what’s wrong with him and why this is happening to him, gently name his condition, talk using active listening techniques (“You’re sad because you want to play...”, “You’re angry because I’m not keeping you busy with what you want right now...");
• openness about your condition - it is necessary not to hide your feelings and desires (“I only want good things for you”, “I would really like you and I to spend time together”).

It is important to have an oral or written agreement. This is necessary because it is quite difficult to exclude a computer from the life of a schoolchild or student, and he will still sit down at it from time to time. The agreement may consist of defining a time frame (for example, one hour a day, during the holidays - 1.5 hours), stating a punishment (for example, a limit on personal time at the computer when receiving three bad marks). In this case, you can use additional services - programs for monitoring visits to certain sites, as well as timers that command the computer to hang up after a certain time set in advance.

The main conditions for success in overcoming addiction are:

1. Healthy family relationships and a normal psychological atmosphere.
2. The emergence of new or updating of old interests and hobbies.
3. The desire and ability to set and achieve at least small goals.
4. Effective interaction with others.

That is why the help of a specialist is necessary in many cases. Most often, for the treatment of computer addiction, the form of training sessions is chosen, and sometimes individual psychocounseling sessions. This allows you to teach the child to feel the taste of life, return him to reality and teach him to enjoy it. In general, treatment tactics are chosen with mandatory consideration of the reasons that could provoke addiction.

If the reason lies in the unsatisfactory situation in the addict’s family, work must be carried out with all its members, otherwise there is a high risk of the teenager returning to the computer desk.

If the main factor is the inability to communicate with peers, it will be difficult to do without training. Communication group trainings will allow not only to teach a child to communicate, but also to hone “skills”, which in the future makes it possible to use the acquired skills in a class or study group.

If the problem is subjective or objective “failure”, it is also important to talk with a psychologist: is this a fictitious problem, what underlies it, what prevents the teenager from setting goals and achieving them.

Effective planning of one's own personal time, the formation of important personal qualities, the ability to set short-term and long-term goals - this is just a small list of skills that a teenager acquires after undergoing treatment. All this not only relieves severe addiction, but is also a reliable prevention of relapse.

Working with teenagers is always complicated by the comparative immaturity of the psyche, dependence on public opinion, the need to belong to a team, lack of integrity, life goals, and tasks, but this does not mean that effective treatment is impossible. With the right approach and timely involvement of a specialist, it is possible to recover from this “illness” of our time in a fairly short time.

This is what it is like - computer addiction among teenagers. How to treat it, I hope you understand! Finally, here's a joke:

Good day, reader! The topic today is drugs “spice” (Spais, Spice).

Good afternoon friends! I receive your questions by email every day.

Greetings, dear reader! Let's talk today about what they are turning ours into.

Good afternoon Friends, I already wrote about marijuana on my blog.

It seems to me that computer addiction occurs “out of nothing to do.” Come up with a more interesting activity, and not a trace will remain of it. The main thing is not to impose a new hobby of your choice, but try everything in order. You'll probably pick something up.

There is no need to treat anything, I got a computer when I was 13 years old, at that time not many people had it, but I was lucky, and naturally, when I got to games, I played for days on end and in general this lasted for years In my 20s, I was married, had children, but by that time I didn’t stop playing MMORPGs, sometimes I didn’t sleep for 2-3 days. Well, in general, this is what I’m all about, but to the fact that if a person is not bothered by prohibitions, he will play, but even though the main thing is that he will find time for study and for work and for relationships, sooner or later the time will come anyway the moment when he gets tired of it, and if you forbid doing something, then he will not stop, but on the contrary will begin to show aggression, “The forbidden fruit is sweet”

I find it hard to believe that there are effective ways to treat computer addiction. I read, thought, digested and came to the conclusion: computer addiction is in many ways similar to gambling addiction, that is, gambling addiction. Comparing both, all the similarities and few differences, these two harmful addictions can be put on the same level and the same methodology can be used to treat them.

A topic that is relevant to me. The eldest son is an avid gamer. He is already 19 years old. And if before adulthood my word meant something to him, now he decided that he was already too old to listen to his mother. He doesn't see any problem. He thinks that everything is fine with him. I see the only way out is to send him to work, since he is such an adult. But his academic schedule does not allow it; he is studying in college.

In most cases, parents themselves become to blame for their children becoming addicted to computer games. After all, in pursuit of their own time and the desire to escape at least a little from children's pranks, parents often simply turn on games or cartoons, thereby creating conditions for further addiction. Be energetic yourself, involve your children in walks, fishing, sports, shopping, and the problem will bypass you.

Computer addiction in adolescents does not need to be treated; it is better to transform it into something else. For example, take him on a trip where he will see something new and unknown, or offer him a motivational activity. After all, why is he drawn to the computer: because something is updated there all the time; whether it's games, movies, social networks, new friends, etc.

What can I say, I don’t know a single friend of mine who can live without the Internet for a week, so it turns out they are all Internet addicts? Now is the time when everyone is on the Internet, I make money on my website, and also constantly watch football or look for the necessary information. Perhaps I’m also addicted to the Internet, I don’t rule it out.

Thank you, interesting, and most importantly, relevant article. Today, almost all children and adolescents have computer addiction. After all, they not only play at home and sit on social networks. Everyone has a cell phone, almost everyone has a tablet, and schools have free internet. That’s why children at school, during breaks, don’t run or play, but sit staring at their phones and tablets. And how convenient it is to do your homework thanks to the Internet and computer. How did we study without him?

Greetings dear parents and readers.

Now my son has a very big problem, and many of my friends have the same problem.

Not long ago, the game DOTA 2 appeared, my son was 14 years old when he started playing it. My wife and I noticed that he played too much, but at first we didn’t really limit his access to the game. 3 years later, when our son was in 11th grade, we only noticed his poor knowledge of mathematics, Russian, history and other school subjects. They began to restrict access to this game, and indeed to a personal computer in general.

But the son asked us to give him one chance to prove himself. I asked for one week. We, as understanding parents, trusted him that another week - and he begins to seriously prepare for the exams, abandons his game. But it was not there.

For all the time he spent in this game, he achieved, so to speak, “The highest solo rating in the world.” This meant that he was the first to achieve such a result. And he was invited to a professional team. When he asked for a week, it was his first competition. They took place in the online version, and when his team became the winners, he received 150 thousand rubles. We, as parents, were shocked. It seemed nice, but addiction to the game, zero knowledge of the school curriculum, and preparation for exams did not give us peace. After the week, after the victory, the son took up his studies a little, began to walk a little more, and play less. It was like that for three weeks. After which, he received an invitation to attend a tournament in China. The directors of his team contacted us, promising him future ones. We agreed, and he attended this tournament. And so, they won it. Their team consisted of 5 people, they won $3,000,000, and the directors allocated $400,000 to each of them. For us, it was a shock and a life-changing revolution when our son brought that kind of money.

After which, we allowed him to play. And now he plays and earns money. But already, he wears glasses, has problems with his back, doesn’t communicate with us, doesn’t walk much. Never on holidays. In general, we lost our son.

So, dear parents, limit your children from gambling addiction. The article here is very useful, do everything to get the computer away from them.

Alexander, thank you for your frank story! To be honest, I was very touched by your story. Your son certainly needs emergency help from a professional, since he has completely disappeared from reality into virtual life. Tragedy could happen very soon. Ring all the bells! Save the child. I'm afraid that we may be talking about isolating and treating my son in a psychiatric hospital.

In general, I believe that computer addiction is biggest problem modern world. More precisely, developed countries that live in relative prosperity. It is the lack of need to do something to earn food that leads to this problem. Therefore, an easy solution would be to deprive the child of money and a computer, so that from childhood he understands the value of money and thinks that it would be worth studying, etc., in order to live well later.

I completely agree with the article, and I think that since now everyone has a computer and many children preschool age understand it better than some adults, parents should initially limit their child’s time spent at the computer. You need to allocate a certain couple of hours for him to have fun online, for example, after all his homework and necessary household chores. From childhood, you need to instill in him an interest in all kinds of clubs, exhibitions, theaters, and then he will not have much time for all sorts of nonsense on the Internet and will have live communication with his peers.

Computer and Internet addiction is a very relevant and painful topic for my family. My wife and I work from morning to evening (that’s the nature of the work) and we try to do everything for the children, including buying modern tablets, laptops, and smartphones. And they didn’t notice how their son and daughter became dependent on this technology and the Internet. Now we are trying to restore our teenagers’ interest in normal life, in the real world (we signed them up for sports, bought bicycles). There seem to be positive changes.

I am very glad that we do not have high expectations, but have an understanding of the long and labor-intensive process of rehabilitation of your children! Of course, there will be difficulties. Success is where failure always ends, but not everyone makes it to the end. Purposefulness is lacking. Good luck!

Computer addiction is, of course, terrible, but not as much as alcohol and so on, here you can recover much easier and without severe consequences, because the computer still does not harm the body as much as the rest, so I personally think the main thing here is to help the person and support him, then perhaps he will understand that all these are just toys)

I don’t understand the term “Internet addiction” (computer addiction) a little. It seems to me that here it is not so much that you are captivated by the computer itself, but rather that it is simply an attempt to escape from reality (the article clearly points out here). Games and the Internet can of course captivate you, but if you have a busy life, then everything is within reasonable limits.

If an adult begins to sit at the computer for days, especially if the computer has been in the house for a long time, then this, it seems to me, is a sign of something more serious. for example, to depression, to a state of “emptiness”, and then if the matter is serious and the person has a subtle mental organization, then suicide is possible.

It will seem to many that I made a rough connection, but in fact this often happens if real world a person ceases to be captivated, and this happens because either he does not see interesting content in it or he cannot realize this interesting thing in his life.

The second is worse, because a person who is unable to realize his dreams for some reason loses interest in life and the natural question arises: “Why live then?”

Of course, this does not apply to any Internet addiction; what I am writing about is accompanied by a general apathy, which is difficult not to notice and is rather characteristic of adults.

If this is exactly it, then try to talk with the person, find out what he cannot implement. Perhaps you can help him in some way.

If matters are of the heart, then just try to captivate the person with something, it will be quite difficult at first, so for starters, just start getting him out of the house more often. Say that you’ve decided to lose weight, for example, and you need company for cycling, but you don’t want to do it yourself)) and then you can take a ride out of town and have a heart-to-heart talk in nature over a cup of tea. Or get a dog if he ever wanted to. Sometimes pets work miracles.)

In general, don’t leave everything to “pass.” sometimes it really goes away, and sometimes it ends either in depression with a complete withdrawal from the joys of real life and closing in one’s shell to more terrible consequences.

In general, do not be indifferent to your loved ones and look first of all for the reason.

Computer addiction has become one of the main problems among young people today. As soon as I got a computer, I practically didn’t leave it for the first few months. You start browsing social networks and don’t notice how time flies. And it seems to you that a couple of minutes have passed, but you’ve been sitting for hours on end. Over time, this passion faded away for me. I started communicating more with real people.

Computer addiction among teenagers has been a very relevant and painful topic for a long time. I believe that the parents and only them are to blame for the fact that a child spends half a day at the computer. At first they try in this way to simply occupy the child with something so as not to distract him from his work, and then they cannot tear their child away from the computer. And sometimes you can’t do without the help of specialists. There is only one piece of advice for parents - pay more attention to the problems of your children and pay more attention to them. And then the child will not seek solace on the Internet or in games.

My eldest son is 9.5 years old, I am very worried about his classmates’ addiction to computer games, I pay a lot of attention to him, just so that he does not become the same, and computer addiction bypasses him. But sometimes it seems to me that this is not possible. He reproaches me that I don’t allow what others are allowed, which means I’m “bad.” I hope that I, as a mother, can find a way out, since computer addiction is a much more complex problem than it seems.

Oh, this virtual world, as they say, absorbs our children, although we ourselves are to blame for this, we fuss all the time and forget to pay attention to children (it’s much simpler - you bought an expensive computer and “shrugged off” communication with the child, while you continue to study "by their own" affairs). There is something to think about; the presence of money (as is the case with a large cash prize) is not always pleasing in the end.

Yes, indeed, computer addiction is the plague of the 21st century))) It is a drug that makes our children distance themselves from reality and live in some kind of unreal world in which there is no verbality, food, or peace. Thank you very much for the article))) It’s good that there are reasons why this problem can be identified. But I agree with the author of the article that it is possible to solve this problem. You just need to pay a little more attention to your children and the problem will be solved))))

I myself got a computer at what I think is a fairly early age. But, thank God, not as early as with modern youth. But now, in parallel with the computer addiction, some kind of telephone addiction is also developing. Teenagers run around with a phone in their hands all day long, always writing something to someone. They look like zombies. Naturally, both the computer and the phone are bad, but I don’t even know which is less scary. Children sit at home at their computers, go outside for a walk, and use their phones. A terrible generation is growing up. I have two younger cousins. One is 10 years old, the other is 4. Both of them know how to use all the new technologies better than I do. Perhaps this is not too bad, they keep up with the times. But if this knowledge were just knowledge, and did not require regular practice in order to play on the computer or ask for a new tablet.

In our time of computer technology, this article could not come at a better time. The problems of the younger generation’s dependence on the computer are well described. Although, I think that it is the parents who should first of all control and not lead to this dependence, it is bad when the child devotes all his free time to PC, and not, for example, walks in the fresh air or games in the yard.

It was almost impossible to kick our son out because of the computer. Especially on weekends, when I wanted to be alone with my wife for at least an hour for intimacy. In winter and summer, we managed to do this with great difficulty, and then after a maximum of half an hour we were waiting for the doorbell to ring from him. But now he works at a computer company, earns decent money and often helps us financially. So the addiction turned into a plus, to the benefit of the matter. That also happens.

It's good that I found this article. I have a computer addiction and to be honest, I thought there was no way I could cope with it. But after reading all the recommendations and trying them on yourself. I can say with confidence that this can be treated. Previously, I sat at the computer for 6 hours a day, but now I can not turn it on for weeks and everything is fine.

Help. I'm 14. I have all the signs of computer addiction. Older relatives mostly make it worse by saying how bad I am, I don't do anything, and I only know how to play. How can I become independent from a PC myself?

Anton, the fact that you are aware of your problem is already a step towards success. It’s a pity that your relatives are not your allies.

Of course, ideally, a consultation with a teenage narcologist (psychotherapist). Tell them you want help anonymously.

If this is not possible, you will have to do everything yourself. And there is only one way out - for some time (at least six months) completely remove the computer and the Internet from your life. Of course, it will “break”. Try to immediately “switch” to something (football, swimming pool, reading books). You need to be very passionate about something.

In the 21st century it is difficult to imagine life without a computer. Virtual reality has firmly established itself in our homes, and every day it captivates more and more people. We are attracted by incredible opportunities and fantastic prospects. When the passion for games and the Internet goes beyond what is reasonable, when a person does not eat, hardly sleeps, and what is happening on the other side of the monitor becomes more important to him than what is around him, we can talk about a painful addiction. Doctors call it computer addiction, gambling addiction. It is especially alarming if a child becomes a prisoner of virtual reality.

Everything usually starts according to one scenario. Moms and dads, hoping to get an hour and a half of free time, give their baby a tablet or phone. The son is busy, the house is quiet, the adults are happy. Then the grown-up child masters the Internet and understands that it is much more interesting there than in ordinary life. And after a few years, parents do not know where to look for help, what to do with their child’s obsessive craving for high technology.

And their fears are not unfounded: the child is not interested in studying, does not want to walk with friends in the yard, does not dream of going to the sea in the summer, does not help with housework, and sometimes forgets to eat and sleeps poorly.

Let's try to figure out together what computer addiction is in children and adolescents - a disease or just a hobby? What to do to prevent it from appearing? And what to do if your child is already dependent on virtuality?

Diagnosis or hobby?

There is no consensus on this matter yet. The International Classification of Diseases does not contain a diagnosis of “computer addiction,” although the question of including this term in the list is raised every year. But many doctors tend to consider computer addiction a disease, on a par with alcoholism and drug addiction. An experiment was conducted in Germany in which two dozen people were shown screenshots from their favorite computer games. The reaction of people turned out to be identical to that observed in alcoholics and drug addicts when they are shown a bottle of alcohol or a dose of drug.

According to statistics, 12 out of every 7,000 people are addicted to online computer games. 19% of Facebook's 250 million users admit to being addicted to gaming.

Online games are the most addictive. In 2005, a teenage girl died of malnutrition in China. She played World of Warcraft for several days. A year later, a 17-year-old boy died in Bashkiria from an epileptic attack that developed as a result of playing on the computer for many days. The sad statistics can be continued further, because such cases have been occurring more and more often lately.

It’s no secret that schoolchildren who have played bloody “shooters” can organize massacres in real life. Executions and massacres are occasionally carried out by American and Japanese schoolchildren.

Passion for computer games in itself is not dangerous. But when does it become an addiction? The main signs that your child is a gambling addict or a victim of Internet addiction:

• He began to communicate less on abstract topics. All conversations are around your favorite game.
• He is not interested in studying he stopped attending sections, or does so extremely reluctantly.
• The child spends all his free time at the computer. Any attempts to force him to turn off the equipment lead to a scandal. Attempts by parents to limit screen time cause the child to have bouts of crying, rage, and hysteria.
• The child has become more irritable his mood often changes without reason - from excitement he easily moves to depressive blues.
• He does not know how to control his time spent at the computer. He says that he will play for two hours, but he can sit for much longer.
• The child stopped taking care of himself- without a reminder, he may forget to wash his face, brush his teeth, or change clothes.
• He has no friends left. He hardly communicates with anyone.
• Your child has memory gaps. Short-term memory suffers; he may not remember what he said or promised several hours ago.

If you find at least three matches in this list, this is a reason to take urgent action. There are now special tests on the Internet that, after filling out a questionnaire, allow you to understand how great the risk of developing computer addiction is. They are largely subjective and do not allow for a 100% diagnosis, but they will help you get a general idea of ​​the problem.

Causes

Almost all children love to sit at the computer. But why do some people develop addiction and others not? Why is behavior correction easy for some children and difficult for others? It's all about the personal characteristics of your offspring - his temperament, level of self-esteem, type of organization of the nervous system.

If a teenager is not confident in himself, he has little communication outside the home - with a high degree of probability he can become addicted to online communication. There he will find what he is missing in life.

Children with high level anxiety and fears are often “hooked” on heroic computer epics. They like to identify themselves as an all-powerful game character who kills hordes of monsters with just his left hand. In this case, the child seems to compensate for the lack of courage and determination in reality.

Game developers know all this very well, and every year they improve their product more and more - high-quality sound, 3D graphics, presence effect... Everything is created so that a person feels “real” inside the game. Children's psyche is more labile, they are easier to captivate than adults, they believe in what is happening faster. That is why for every adult suffering from computer addiction, in our country there are now more than 20 children with the same problem.

What's really going on? The child ceases to perceive the world as before. As computer addiction develops, he loses the best human qualities - empathy, love, honesty.

The most susceptible to gadget addiction are:

• Children suffering from attention deficit disorder. Parents devote little time to them, and then their peers ignore them. The best prevention in this case is love and participation in the child’s life.
• Children are choleric and children are melancholic. Their worldview is special even without computers. Guys with such temperaments “get used to” the proposed circumstances more easily than others.
• Children from “problem” families. We are talking about families where domestic violence is practiced - scandals, beatings, coercion to do anything. And even if the victim of violence is another family member, the child will psychologically strive to escape from this uncomfortable reality to another. Why not go virtual? The same partly applies to families where the parents have recently divorced, and the child still finds it difficult to accept change.
• Children who are not accustomed to saving time. If a child has not been taught to manage his time rationally since childhood, then by the age of 10-12 he will have too many free minutes and hours. He sincerely believes that the responsibility of cleaning the room or taking out the trash can be postponed until later. It’s much more interesting to spend time in virtuality. Without parental control, such children won’t do much with the housework, but they will sit down at the computer with great pleasure.
• Children suffering from complexes. A girl who doesn't like her own appearance gets a chance to become a beautiful warrior in a computer game. A shy and timid boy manages to be a hero - a winner. The game fills the voids in the child’s soul, and gradually he ceases to be himself, but becomes a character in the game.

Consequences

Computer addiction can lead to very disastrous consequences:

• Social isolation, the child’s lack of ability to communicate and negotiate.
• Nervous and mental personality disorders - psychosis, clinical depression, hysteria, schizophrenia.
• Difficulties with learning, lack of motivation.
• Associative behavior, lack of understanding of the boundaries of what is permitted, including by law. As a result, the child may become a criminal.
• Diseases: gastritis, poor posture, hemorrhoids, chronic fatigue syndrome, exhaustion of the whole body, peptic ulcer of the stomach and duodenum, myopia, glaucoma, dry eye syndrome, farsightedness, display syndrome.

Help

There are several ways to help your child get rid of computer addiction. But the degree of bias should be taken into account. In some cases, parents can help their child on their own, but in some cases, the help of specialists is needed.

Educational conversation

An excellent method at the very beginning of addiction. It is important to understand the causes of addiction. Why is the child on the other side of the monitor better than with you? The most common mistake is to start lecturing about the dangers of a computer, making trouble and appealing to the child’s conscience. This will all only irritate him. Try to become a “companion”.

Spend the evening with your son playing his favorite game. Play with him, talk to him. Let him tell you about all the characters and their abilities. During the virtual adventures, gently ask your child why he likes to be this hero and not another? Why does he need so many weapons? Who is he fighting? Contact will be established, perhaps not the first time. But when you understand for yourself what attracts your son or daughter to the game, you will be able to plan his leisure time a little differently, including in it the very thing that is missing.

Psychoanalysis

Today this is the most common way to combat computer addiction in both children and adults. An experienced psychoanalyst will help reveal the true underlying reasons for leaving for another, virtual world. Sometimes, after just one session, a specialist will accurately determine which family problems, personal complexes, and moral traumas are pushing the child into another space and dimension. Parents are encouraged to participate in therapy.

If you take the whole family with a sincere desire to change something in your life, the result will be positive. The main condition is that parents must be ready to make changes to their own lifestyle, their habits and character. The services of a psychoanalyst are not very cheap. But this method is effective when addiction has long passed the initial stage.

Hypnosis

Psychotherapists began treating computer addiction using hypnosis about ten years ago. Sufficient experience has been gained. The hypnologist puts the child into a trance (with the consent of the parents) and carefully gives him psycho-settings for indifference to computer games and communication on the Internet. This is roughly how alcoholics are coded.

However Don’t think that hypnosis is a panacea. Firstly, not all people can be hypnotized, and secondly, the symptoms of addiction may disappear, but their hidden causes will remain. And then the child, from whose life computer games have disappeared, will begin to fill the voids with something else. It’s not a fact that it’s something good and useful. Computer addiction may be replaced by other pathological conditions - from theft to drugs.

Medicines

Often, drug treatment is used to get rid of computer addiction (especially in “advanced” stages). Medicines that are sold strictly according to a prescription are prescribed by a doctor. Typically, this happens if a child has personality disorders, depression, or anxiety. The specialist prescribes antidepressants and sedatives.

It must be said right away that you cannot get rid of computer addiction with pills and injections alone, since they again treat the consequences, not the cause. Whatever one may say, one cannot do without psychological help and rehabilitation. And the use of psychotropic drugs has never brought much benefit to a child’s body.

• If you discover that your child has a computer addiction, do not panic. You can scare him with your reaction and drive him even deeper into a detached state. Analyze the situation and make a plan to get out of it.
• Don't scream, don't blame your child. It's not his fault. After all, weren’t we ourselves the one who once gave him a gadget in his hands to keep him occupied for a while? Take responsibility and be patient. Computer addiction does not go away quickly.
• Find a good time to talk with your son or daughter. Look for the reason for his voluntary departure into virtuality.
• Offer your child interesting ways to spend his free time. Remember, they must be in tune with the cause of the addiction. If a timid child is carried away by games in order to feel omnipotent, send him to a boxing section, karate, or organize a parachute jump. If your teenager doesn’t have enough thrills in everyday life, offer to go together on a weekend and play paintball or take part in an interactive quest in reality. Now they are common. There the child will be able to feel like the same hero, but for real. If your son or daughter has communication problems, enroll your child in a theater studio, dance classes, or anywhere where the “we are a team” principle applies.

• Set goals for your dependent child. And gradually teach him to set goals on his own and go towards them.
• You shouldn’t forbid him to sit at the computer or take away his gadget, trying to force him to wean him off the tablet. This will cause aggression and resentment. And these feelings do not contribute to establishing contact.
• Outline your child's responsibilities. Homework, cleaning, walking the dog, taking out the trash. Don't be afraid to overload it. No one has ever died from housework. Reward for what is done, but not with additional time on the computer. Set up a reward system yourself. What could it be? Small money that a child can save for the sneakers of his dreams or anything else he wants.
• Computer addiction is rapidly becoming younger. If 10 years ago 14-16 year old teenagers suffered from it, now you can meet mothers who complain that they cannot kick their 4-5 year olds out because of the monitor. summer baby. If your child is under 10 years old, try to strictly limit the time spent playing. Preferably no more than half an hour a day. It’s best to find an alternative activity; a computer is not the best toy for young children.
• Be prepared to change yourself. Together with your child you will jump with a parachute, master roller skating, go fishing or dancing. Remember that he cannot cope with addiction alone.
• Don't relax. As in the treatment of alcoholism or drug addiction, the patient may experience relapses and breakdowns. It would seem that you managed to distract the child from the “tanks” and “war games”, but you quarreled, and he moves away again, trying to hide in the game.

You need to know the enemy by sight

Parents whose children are overly addicted to the Internet and games need to know which games are the most addictive and mentally crippling.

In this list, according to experts, The Sims, horror Five Nights at Freddy's, Second Life, Prototype, Left 4 Dead 2, Fallout 3, Splatterhouse And World of Warcraft. Recently, children and teenagers are immersed in " World of Tanks».

“Tanks” is not as bloody as “Splatterhouse”, where severed limbs and skin torn off from enemies are the norm, not savagery, but they have their own nuances. Playing "Tanks" requires financial investments - after all, the equipment needs to be improved (“pumped up”). Where will the child get the money? That's right, from the parents. And if they don’t give it to you, then they can steal from strangers, since the desire to have the coolest tank at this moment is stronger than common sense. I have seen grown men who “invest” most of their income in tanks, without thinking about the fact that they have families, children, and obligations. What can we say about teenagers? Take your time, ask what your child is playing, try to play it yourself, get to know the enemy by sight as much as possible.

If a child has an Internet addiction, you need to be on guard every day. Fraudsters, pedophiles, perverts of all stripes have recently been lying in wait for children not in the gateway of their home, but on the Internet. Look at what social media groups your child is in. Did he end up in the so-called death group? These are communities where teenagers are prepared to commit suicide. Are there any adults among his contacts that you don’t know?

It would be unfair to classify all computer games as malicious without exception. Of course, there are educational games that develop logic, thinking, and memory.

So, my eldest son once studied the English alphabet. He was helped in this by Winnie the Pooh from the game marked 3+. When I noticed that my son in the 3rd grade, instead of studying, was concentrating on destroying another batch of bloody zombies in “Left 4 Dead” with a shotgun, and when asked where we would go on the weekend, he answered: “Can I stay at home?”, the question was posed bluntly - either now or never. By that time, by the way, my son weighed about 70 kilos, suffered from stage 1 obesity, and in principle did not want to go to any sections. As soon as he turned away, he grabbed his plate of dinner and went to eat at the computer. As a gift for the holidays, I asked for a new game or another disc with a continuation of the game...

So I brought him to the cadet school, where he put on a military uniform, learned to run and do pull-ups, jump with a parachute and disassemble a Kalashnikov assault rifle. At first, of course, he was capricious, incredibly, suffered and complained. When in the fifth grade he announced that he would be a military man, we were almost not surprised. Now he is 17. He graduates with honors from the Stavropol Presidential Cadet School. Studying three foreign languages. This summer I intend to enter a higher military school. His dream is to become a scout.

He calls his peers who spend their free time playing computer games in unprintable terms and wonders how he could sit at the computer for so much time. Now I am grateful to fate that I was able to recognize the symptoms of the onset of addiction in time and quickly block it. Now I'm looking at my middle son. There is no talk of addiction yet, but I am always ready.

Other extremes

One day an old friend called me and burst into a long and detailed text on the topic “How to live further?” Like, “this idiot” won’t achieve anything in life, because he doesn’t need anything other than a “computer”. He spends all his free time there and doesn’t want to hear anything. It was about her 13-year-old son. My imagination immediately drew the darkest images, and I promised to stop by one of these days and talk to the teenager.

Misha greeted me with a dull semblance of a smile. It was clear how exhausted he was by constant reproaches and even hysterics from his mother. I walked up to the table and, to my surprise, found books on programming and graphic design on it. A few questions were enough to understand that the child does not play on the computer. He works behind it. With great difficulty, I managed to convince him to at least slightly reduce the time he spent behind the monitor, and my friend to leave the teenager alone. Misha is currently studying at university and will soon become a programmer. He is already a recipient of a presidential scholarship and a regular at various IT events and rallies on an all-Russian scale.

Conclusion - do not rush to label your child as a “gambler”, “addicted”, “sick”... Take a deep dive into what your child wants and dreams of.. Whether he has an addiction or not, you will understand quite quickly, but a damaged relationship and broken contact with a teenager will still cause a lot of trouble. The main thing is to love the child, accept him with all his oddities and hobbies. But at the same time, do not go blind from love and recognize the symptoms of impending disaster in time. If computers have already begun to “absorb” the personality of your son or daughter, do not hesitate to ask specialists for help.

Communicate with parents of other children who have fallen into the clutches of virtual reality and share your experiences. It is possible and necessary to overcome this addiction. But this can only be done by everyone together, joining forces.

Acne in boys

Computer addiction

Relatives living next to a person addicted to gambling usually live in constant tension and fear: resentment, anger, guilt, nervous breakdowns, a feeling of helplessness and impotence. They constantly think about how to get out of the current situation, how to help, how to make sure the problem is resolved. To understand this, let's take a closer look at the situation.

What happens to relatives of people addicted to the game?

Guilt

The player’s entire family is thrown out of their normal life rut and is suffering. Usually parents and relatives feel responsible for the condition of a loved one and ask themselves questions: “Where did we miss it? What was our mistake?”

The questions are legitimate, but even after answering them, you will not see a way out of the situation. The player himself benefits from making you feel guilty, and he/she speculates on this:

“You tried to suppress me in everything, command, humiliate me” or “You didn’t care about me,” etc. This further increases the feeling of guilt of relatives (or one of them).

Everyone in the family becomes irritable. It is not surprising that usually balanced and sensible adults, under the influence of the dramatically changed behavior of their loved one, begin to speak and act in ways that were previously unusual for them. During a mental breakdown, people may act like violent lunatics. Relatives can reproach, threaten, call you names, scold, beg, even beat. But none of these remedies, of course, benefit the situation. The player feels that only threat and hostility come from his loved ones, and this adds confusion to his painful feelings.

Harmful Defense

In order to protect and protect from unnecessary troubles, many parents and relatives themselves pay off debts incurred by the player, call school or work and come up with reasons for his absence, lie in response to phone calls, lie to other family members covering up his game and the consequences of this game . Relatives are afraid that the addict will ruin his life, so they try to intervene and correct his actions, based on the best intentions. Perhaps many people think about their reputation first. Others do it all out of guilt.

Some people cannot bear to see their son, husband, wife or daughter suffering.

Rewards for bad behavior

When relatives rescue the player and make amends for his mistakes, they reinforce his inclination to continue the lifestyle that is the root cause of his misfortune. After all, for his bad behavior he/she receives a reward - first in the form of a “high” from the game, and then in the form of eliminating all the consequences - at work (school) everything is settled, debts are distributed, sold items are replaced with new ones.

Thus, the “caring” relatives did everything so that the player would not feel the consequences of his actions and would not be able to draw conclusions. A player who is constantly forgiven for not being liable for debts, for losing (and then stealing) money or things - such a person gets used to being irresponsible in his family, unfit for life in society.

Love is leaving

In the family where the player lives, there is a decrease in love. We are only human, so often our love is conditional (behavior). If love is not rewarded as expected, it fades away. Love lives by love. If we do not receive anything good in response to love, it becomes bitterness.

Need tough love

When the game becomes more important to the player than the well-being of his loved ones, the feeling of love is tested and, unfortunately, often abuse gradually kills love. Relatives, who have already realized the destructiveness of their complicit behavior, have found an alternative to it. This is "tough love". To love your loved one with tough or strong love means to care about them enough to be able to say “no” in response to abuse, not to harm them, but to be willing to confront the abuser.

Tough love says to the player: “Enough is enough. We refuse to get you out of the problems that you create for yourself; we love you and therefore we tell you: “If you want to suffer, suffer. If you don’t want to, look for a way of salvation.”

When loved ones find the strength and patience to practice tough love, everyone begins to take responsibility for their actions, and accordingly, the healing process begins.

This is the only chance to get rid of the disease “gaming addiction,” which affects all family members to one degree or another.

An algorithm for successful actions of relatives who managed to help their loved ones.

Parents and relatives of gamblers admit that they are powerless over their relative’s gambling addiction and have no way of improving the life of another person. Admitting your powerlessness not in words, but in deeds is not easy. Most of us are simply overwhelmed by this thought - “Leaving a loved one alone with his (her) problem.” After all, we cannot separate the life of a son, husband, wife or daughter from our own life. “I have to do something with him (her). If he (she) hasn’t changed yet, then I have to try harder,” says the mother of a drug addict, the player’s wife. Relatives are convinced that the situation is still in their hands; they just need to scold, threaten, insist, beg, etc. more strongly. And suddenly the First Step suggests - “stop and admit your powerlessness.”

We are convinced that nothing needs to be done, it is in vain to try to protect the player from the crisis to which he is driving himself. It seems to us that it is quite the opposite - it is we who are capable and must solve the problem of our husband, son (daughter). Therefore, only when we completely exhaust ourselves and exhaust our physical and moral strength in search of ways to influence the player, only then can we come to humility and admit - “we are not able to change him, his illness is stronger than us.”

Only in our powerlessness do we admit that we do not have the power to change the decisions of another person (even our close relative). Attempts to control him (her) do not give any result; the loved one moves further and further away from us.

Recognizing your powerlessness is the beginning of the path to recovery.

Second step

My husband, son (daughter) has individual needs and feelings; I will try to take care of his (her) inner world.

At any age, a person has his own specific needs. The baby needs tender care, feeding and protection. The child needs protection, training, honest and demanding upbringing. A teenager must see and experience the world outside himself, and find recognition among his own kind. An adult needs a sense of self-worth and purpose in life. A person at any age needs to satisfy the basic needs necessary for his existence - food, a roof over his head, clothing. In addition to the basic ones, there are other, no less important human needs: the desire to be recognized and necessary. And one more thing: we all need peace of mind regarding ourselves and our loved ones.

It is difficult for us to feel the needs of another if he shows indifference to our feelings, and to his own too. When a person addicted to the game begins to lie, be rude, cheat, steal, fail to keep his promises, force us to do something, we become upset, angry, sometimes lose our balance and commit unreasonable acts. When he (she) absolutely neglects his health, our relationships, his social status, his life, his future, his relatives, it is very difficult to take care of him.

How can you love someone who is cunning and lies, loses the family budget, leaves home for a long time, skips classes, fails, flies out of school, is rude at home, does not help, and does not want to discuss his difficulties? We need a place where we can regain lost peace of mind and sanity, and then see the personality of our relative behind the manifestations of the disease (bad habits and destructive behavior).

And we need people who have walked the path you are going through. These people are needed for support and so that you can learn about successful experiences in overcoming difficulties in an addictive family.

Third step

I also recognize that I have my own needs and feelings. I expect my relative to respect my feelings and needs as well.

The player’s loved ones often forget about their problems, so much so that his (her) trouble crowds out all other thoughts and concerns from life. The behavior of the player himself seems absolutely devoid of respect for the needs and feelings of another person: he can go into the entire cash register and secretly take money that you planned to spend on important acquisitions for the family, he can borrow money from your mutual friends, he can call and say all sorts of terrible things. things, can wake you up in the middle of the night, can disappear without warning, etc. So sometimes we ourselves forget about our needs and seem to be ashamed when we remember them.

Many of us have the habit of being sensitive to every demand of someone close to us (our children or other family members). We do everything so as not to offend anyone, so that everyone has a good time.

Unfortunately, for some reason it doesn't work out well. We, with this habit of “pleasing everyone,” completely forget about our needs, and sooner or later we burn out - we reach the point of physical and moral exhaustion. We have forgotten that each of us is an individual; To live in mental, mental and physical health, we must meet our personal needs and insist on doing so when others hinder us. If you don’t do this, then illness, depression, and extinction loom in the future.

But those who live near the player know: expecting and demanding respect for yourself is like talking to a wall. We don’t even hope to be heard, so the only way to stay healthy is to take care of yourself, stop being a slave to someone or anything. Slavery thrives when we give up our human rights to life and happiness. We learn to say "No!" or “Sorry, but I need it too!”

We learn to set clear limits of our benefits for others, we learn to bring to his attention that besides him there are other people with their own personal needs, desires and rights.

As we learn to love ourselves according to the program, we may find that our husband or son (daughter) will not like our new respectful attitude towards our own personality. But we should not depend on his approval, we must continue to improve our knowledge about ourselves and the disease. With the recognition of ourselves as we are, with the knowledge of our sensory reactions to what is happening around us, with the practice of correcting what is painful in ourselves, we come to peace of mind and sanity in our community.

Fourth step

I will try to do everything that depends on me, as a close relative responsible for a loved one.

Responsibility is not an easy matter. Bearing responsibility for a completely irresponsible relative is an even more difficult matter, and sometimes even impossible. How often do those living next to the player lose their temper and behave like crazy in response to the behavior of the patient! We all know these desperate breakdowns. Basically healthy, self-controlled people, we sometimes take crazy steps under the influence of fear or anger at the player. Driven to moral, physical and financial ruin, we find it increasingly difficult to be responsible for ourselves. Very often, emotions take precedence over sanity, and we turn into the embodiment of Self-Pity, Anger, Vengefulness. It is not difficult to understand that under the powerful pressure of negative feelings we behave irresponsibly. We talk about such breakdowns: “I wasn’t myself.” When our behavior begins to change because of a player, it means that his illness has taken over us too. The trouble began with a slight irresponsibility in relation to one's responsibilities and turned into a big problem for the whole family. It seems that all family members have lost their sanity.

So, our desire to return normal life to ourselves and our loved ones must be associated with a sense of duty and responsibility. Please don’t think that there is no time for this now. Reasonable, mature, balanced actions are most needed right now. Of course, teaching a loved one to be responsible for their actions is a long process that goes beyond the critical situation in which they now find themselves. But first of all, we must pull ourselves together, calm our frayed nerves, cast aside fear of tomorrow, focus on the possibilities and hopes of today - this is our duty as loved ones.

Yes, we have lost the rhythm of life, we are lost, we have reached a dead end. Now is the time to get out on solid ground, put yourself in order in order to help a sick relative.

Fifth step

I expect my husband, son (daughter) to participate in the life of the family.

Such a statement will likely cause an evil grin or laughter from those who live near the player. Expecting the player to do anything around the house is just stupid. Any relative will say: “I can’t even imagine that he (she) can act like a normal person. After all, he doesn’t care about anything, just to get high. Even if he promises, I never hope.”

Yes, unfortunately, all this is actually true. We know from bitter experience that the player is irresponsible, so we expect only bad things from him (her), only more emotional wounds. And, nevertheless, this position - to refuse in advance his responsibility for family affairs - harms us. After all, we continue to perform all duties in the house. We are powerless to influence his addiction, so we will have to endure everything related to the player’s behavior. We can and should allow the player to experience the consequences of their bad decisions. If he does everything to get into trouble, and we immediately do everything to prevent trouble from happening, then we teach him to be irresponsible. We can and should set limits on what is acceptable. For example, you can set conditions in advance regarding fraud, theft, and much more. If nothing is agreed upon, no restrictions are set, the house turns into a battlefield, where explosions can be heard every minute.

If someone addicted to gaming is allowed by his loved ones to live nearby, it means that they expect him to treat himself humanely. Parents who are undemanding and forgiving, having discovered that all their good efforts do not bring anything good, become touchy and cultivate exorbitant self-pity in their souls. When one person does something instead of another, he contributes to the appearance of feelings of guilt, depression, and rebellion in that other person. The well-wisher himself falls into addiction - the need to constantly do something instead of something else.

Therefore, it is very important for relatives to maintain at least some hope and expect that the player is capable of taking responsibility for himself. There is no point in expecting much; it will lead to disappointment. But waiting too little and not demanding anything means inviting someone to sit on your neck with a disastrous result for both sides.

Sixth step

I will try not to be an angry and punitive parent.

After all, I know that any person enjoys understanding, approval, devotion, and I will try to see and praise his (her) every attempt to be responsible for his/her deeds, words, thoughts. We all found ourselves in our situation because our loved one was addicted to the game, his (her) lifestyle went against the beliefs of other family members. We realized with horror what drastic changes had occurred in the personal qualities of a husband, son or daughter because of his addiction to the game. Those whom we knew as kind, sympathetic and smart suddenly turned into monsters, constantly lying, mocking, stealing, all for the sake of the desire to get their own pleasure. It seems to us that the whole world has been turned upside down. No wonder we became irritable and angry. How we want to pull out the roots of evil that are corroding our loved ones! But, unfortunately, we put pressure in the wrong place: instead of the cause, we torment the victim. We direct all the power of hatred towards gambling addiction towards the person who suffers from this disease. It's sad but true - having started with our loved one, the disease also damaged us. The player's entire family is drawn into the circle of misfortune.

If we are still able to reason calmly, we must understand: resentment and anger - the predominant feelings - are not the best helpers in finding a way out. We need peace of mind to think and accept right decisions. To have an upset psyche means to harm our patient.

If we think that this is what he (she) needs,” it means that we do not want his recovery. After all, by showing with our lives an example of an unhappy fate, we seem to justify the player’s desire to escape from this life.

A more useful and healthy approach to the player is to use the opportunities of praise, approval, and support. This is especially important when we notice the player's attempts to escape from the destructive network and return to normal people. Many of us underestimate such simple things as a smile, a kind word, affection. Now we are so anxious and worried that we are simply afraid to become friendly. Many times we have been burned out by trying to be loving, so now we are restrained. And yet, much still depends on us - whether we will be able to overcome pain, fears, grievances, despair. We must show our loved ones an example - how to take responsibility for our life, for our happiness; how to become a person capable of accepting participation from others - as well as giving it. Therefore, if your positive example causes even a small change for the better, it will be worth the effort of changing tactics; It's worth it to stop being a persecutor and become a friend.

But in principle, who will it bother, when from being angry, intolerant, irritable you become kind, tolerant, making reasonable decisions?

Seventh step

I will try to be realistic in my claims to the sick person. But I also realize that I have to set boundaries for acceptable behavior in the house for him.

Making our demands on the player realistic requires effort from us. After all, we have to deeply realize that the person living next to us is a sick person with distorted concepts and feelings. We can observe how he (she) “changes faces”: now a pitiful, depressed state, now hostility, pressure, cruelty; that unnatural friendliness and talkativeness. Sudden changes in mood depend on the biochemical state associated with this craving for the game. Thus, the life of the addict’s family also becomes dependent on the addict’s mood swings. How can we be “realistic” in our expectations and demands? We just have to keep our hope alive, we have to set boundaries and rules and enforce them. Otherwise, we will give our home to the reign of chaos associated with the abuse of the game.

The recovery program encourages you to recognize your powerlessness in trying to fix or control the life of another person. But the program inspires us - we have the rights and opportunities to change ourselves and our lives for the better. The term “tough love” reminds us: we have the right to privacy, we have our own needs that need to be met. We have the right to have a calm and reliable home. We have the right to refuse restless nights due to phone calls, music and screams, knocks on the door (the list can be long). We have the right to determine what is unacceptable to us in the behavior of a loved one, although this should not offend him. We have the right to say "No!" any unreasonable demand of the player.

Our duty, as close people, is to set the boundaries of what is permissible and be unwavering.

Very often the psychological need to be loved makes us soft-hearted indulgers, and we tolerate what harms us.

You shouldn't expect the impossible. But we must respect ourselves enough to forbid others to neglect us, abuse us, or keep us in slavery. If we do not take up the task of restoring our rights and dignity, if we neglect our parental duty, then others will begin to neglect our rights - until we finally lose our human face.

Eighth step

I know that no person can be perfect, so I will not expect perfect behavior from either myself or the player. I will make an effort to honestly analyze my shortcomings and mistakes and strive to improve.

Many of us have already suffered from human imperfection. How I would like people to behave like angels! But as long as the behavior of others does not affect us, we are patient with people's shortcomings.

There are exceptions. Sometimes we try to “grade” ourselves and our loved ones who live next to us. Sometimes we are indifferent to some flaw in most people, but when we discover the same flaw in ourselves, we are very upset. Many relatives of players acutely feel their inadequacy and guilt due to the fact that a loved one has become irresponsible and unhappy. We are ashamed, we suffer, asking ourselves: “Where did we miss it?”, “In what act or word did we wound him?” We were all desperately looking for an answer. Relatives tend to take the brunt of the defeat upon themselves.

But self-condemnation and self-accusation do not help matters. Yes, of course, honest recognition of your wrong beliefs, habits, and relationships is good. But now, when the life of a loved one and family is in danger, it is necessary to realize that restoring self-control and one’s personal dignity is necessary to save both oneself and the player’s relative.

We treat the player the same way. Of course, his or her habits and actions are far from perfect. We will not wait for the impossible. But you need to be careful and not miss the player’s attempts to make efforts to change behavior for the better. Then we will need the ability to forget the grievances and disappointments of past days and years, the ability to live for today, solving only the most pressing problems of the family or even the player himself

Ninth step

I am learning that most parents (or other family members) tend to rescue relatives and children from distress situations that the children have created themselves.

I understand that trying to take responsibility for another person does not help him, but on the contrary, weakens him. I will try to ensure that my relative bears on his shoulders the consequences of his behavior, his wrong choice.

When a player is in trouble, it is only natural that his family members will begin to take measures to save him. To protect from suffering and from difficulties is the goal of those who love. We spent a lot of money to pull out our poor fellow. Of course, in each specific case, only you can solve your problem yourself - how to help a loved one in trouble.

We learn to analyze our behavior, to see how certain unhealthy relationships are implemented, how our “saving” harms everyone. After all, by rescuing him (her) from difficulties, we teach him to continue to follow the same path.

Having not experienced physical or mental suffering, the player sees no reason to change anything in his life. After all, the game gives pleasure, makes life easier - why run away from it? When we step aside, perform the so-called “Separation” from his (her) problems, we allow the negative consequences of his negative behavior to appear in the player’s life. Only they can force him to start searching for ways to salvation. His own desire is necessary.

It seems to us that, driven by a feeling of love, we are trying to save. We want to make him stronger, free him from his deadly addiction. Unfortunately, the result of our help is the opposite: we prevent our loved one from developing independence and responsibility, we weaken him.

Our program reminds us that to truly help a player, we must allow him to suffer, maybe only suffering will give him the impetus to grow!

Tenth step

Everyone must carry their own load. I will do my best to resist my desire to be "paired" with a player in the same "game"

When I fall for his tricks, it makes me angry and resentful, and gives him (her) a reason to distance himself from me even more.

Many people need to be involved in the lives of others in some way to increase their sense of self-worth. Thus, we become dependent on others and their assessments and lose self-esteem.

Relationships with the player develop according to the same pattern. As his or her addiction to the game grows, he or she increasingly begins to abuse those close to them, forcing them to do what they should do themselves.

Usually the player loses the money he earned or stops earning money altogether, getting a great job at the expense of his working relatives. It is not surprising that he creates scenes of indignation when his relatives do not provide him with the things he wants. He accuses people of indifference, greed, “backwardness” and lack of understanding, etc. And most often we give up, give in, do something that we later regret. Perhaps we are driven to this by a persistent sense of guilt.

It is quite difficult to resist the player's desire to be dependent on us. Our good intentions, feelings of guilt, and desire to please help him manipulate us, and thus further strengthen our interdependence. And along with his dependence on us, his dissatisfaction with us grows. This is not visible at first. When we do something for him, we expect it to make him happy and grateful to us. But for some reason, on the contrary, the relative becomes more and more hostile. When we regularly do something instead of him, he feels increasing self-contempt. He begins to hate those who caused this feeling of his own helplessness. Thus, everything we can give to the player is to his detriment. We are required to be firm, inflexible, and able to say “No” without going into explanations.

Eleventh step

I know that the only person I can be responsible for is myself.

This is not easy, but I will try to do everything I can (am capable) so that with my feelings, actions and thoughts I do not harm myself and my loved ones.

I am able to cope with feelings of self-pity and resentment. There are things we cannot do for another person, such as breathing or being ashamed. Bitter life experiences have convinced us that we cannot stop another from playing or condoning bad behavior. Of course, there are many cases when we can and should provide support and help to our neighbors. But to do for another what he must learn himself means harm.

In our community we learn that the moment of “separation” is vital for someone with a gambling disorder. We learn a new attitude towards the problem - shifting the focus from the player's behavior and habits to our own.

We will have enough work to do when we take charge of ourselves. The task that we must solve first of all is to regain our mental, physical and moral health.

With the help of a psychotherapeutic group, we begin the healing process, gradually approaching mental balance. Our “branch” contributes to this. We accepted our powerlessness over gambling addiction and accepted the fact that we cannot change someone else by force.

Now we direct all our strength to what is within our control - to ourselves. We strive to become more balanced, to acquire new positive qualities that are so necessary in our circumstances. We give up swearing, threats, moralizing - everything that made others avoid communicating with us. We stop feeling sorry for ourselves and being offended - by doing this we only harm ourselves and others. We develop a new attitude: "I can't change it. I'll take care of myself, I'll do everything I can to make my life better. This attitude will benefit me, the family and the player."

Twelfth step

I need people and they need me (need me).

I will do my best to grow.

Everyone understands that every person needs other people. Our place in society depends on the actions of other people, even those unknown to us: sellers in a bakery, telephone operators, public transport drivers. In our family, we depend on loved ones, from our mood to our livelihoods.

Each plays a role in the other's healing.

We cultivate the right attitudes and approaches to the problems of gambling addiction. The basics of the new approach are entrusting the fate of one's relative to the concerns of a Higher Power; gaining sanity by working on yourself and stopping trying to change others. New habits will not appear overnight. We will need persistence and patience.

But by regularly engaging in personal growth, we will definitely achieve positive results. We will be able to overcome skepticism, doubts and fears, and we will experience our spiritual growth.

I will list you some stereotypes of behavior of close relatives that encourage further development patient's addiction:

SOME COMMON EXAMPLES OF INCENTIVENESS. 1. Denial. He's not a player, he just plays sometimes. He can't be a player - he still has a job, family, friends. . Doesn't play every day. He just enjoys the game and relaxes. 2.Justifying the game by accepting apologies, explanations and alibis presented by the player. Too much pressure at work. We need to improve our financial situation - I will develop and create a winning system Wife, husband, parents don't understand The boss is too demanding. When things get better, I'll stop playing. I'm unemployed... I have too much time. Nobody understands me. It relaxes me and creates a good mood. 4. Containment of feelings. Sit on anger. Holding back tears or crying alone. Hide fear. Hide the shame. Ignore grievances/pain. Rarely laugh. 5.Avoid/ignore problems. Don't “drive the wave.” Walking on eggshells. Keep peace at all costs. Leave them. Move further away. 6.Reduction (minimization). It's not bad enough yet. (he's not an avid gamer yet) He just has ups and downs. Many people do this. 7.Protection. I'll call you at work and tell you that you have a cold. I will cancel _________ (social event). I'll remove the children so they don't interfere. I will pay off my debts 8.Control. I'll take care of the money. I'll take care of the children. I will take care of the house/garden. AND FINALLY - I take full responsibility for taking care of you. 9. Run away from your feelings by calming them down. Food. Work. Alcohol/medicines. Sleep. 10. Absorption. Taking on unnecessary responsibility. Obsessive thoughts about the addict. Allow the problem to completely take over your life. Confidence that you will be okay if the addict “corrects.”

So, I tried to briefly convey to you, dear relatives of the players, the essence of the change program for you. Your program of change is, from experience, the only effective help for your loved ones with gambling addiction. Family is a system of interaction between people. And according to the laws of operation of systems, it can change only in one case - if at least one of the elements of the system (usually the most developed and flexible element) changes, i.e. learn to think, feel and act differently. Most likely it's you. After all, you are the one who read this article to the end and are looking for a way out of this situation. Therefore, change must begin with you. How to really achieve this. Action is needed. After all, even the best intentions will remain just intentions if certain steps are not taken.

Specialists of the Vershina treatment and rehabilitation program for drug addiction, alcoholism, and gambling addiction, based on the best world experience and their extensive practice, recommend that you do the following.
1. Decide to refuse to bear any responsibility for your relative’s inappropriate actions related to his pathological attraction to gambling.
2. Tell about the problem to all your close people who you think can support you.
3. Find a treatment center for players. Be careful!
You can call the Vershina program hotline and get an initial consultation. Research the market. Ask more questions. Study all the materials you find on this issue. To fight the enemy, you need to know him by sight.

On the pages of our website, you can familiarize yourself with our rehabilitation program “TOP”. Get a free consultation in the "question/answer" section, consult on questions about